In Pursuit of Slower Living.
Learnings from endeavoring to breakup with the rush and take my time.
What if I slowed my daily life down?
At the beginning of 2022 my partner Matt and I got curious about slowing our lives down. Taking our time. Being more present moment to moment - cheesy and cliché as that sounds. Following are my lessons and musings from the pursuit of slower-living.
I have had a long, strong practice of moving quickly. Rushing to get things done. Checking off that to-do list. Being oh-so productive. Letting urgency take the wheel.
Ironically, I have noticed that the moments in which I experience the most clarity and slowness have often been in my fast paced work as a crisis interventionist. At some point in my intervention work, I also noticed I began craving the clarity and focus that came from high intensity situations. It is a thing. High pressure situations can flood brains, like mine, with adrenaline, dopamine, endorphins, and other chemicals bringing about a counter-intuitive sense of settling. It can be really useful in high-intensity moments that require a state of flow, and it can be the reason we seek out drama or the next thrill.
This experience with urgency is a natural, normal occurrence for our sweet human brains. And more recently, I have become ever-more interested in finding clarity and slowness in mundane moments - not just the high intensity ones.
Again, ironically, outside of high-intensity situations I can often find myself feeling like I am rushing from thing to thing. Even in times when I can be slow, I go-go-go, using my to-do list as a coping mechanism. Or I experience the absolute opposite, where I was totally check out as a lump on the couch, scrolling and numb.
At my core, I have been craving slowness. Not just for myself, but also for the quality of the change work I am wanting to engage. Somewhere along the way from youth to adult I forgot what slowness and recreation can look like in my life (even though I have a degree in recreation). There is an addictive nature to the systems of productivity we all live within. The familiarity of rush is soothing… until it is not.
In 2019 I was pretty darn burnt. I was a zombie with my friends and loved ones. Spacey and zoned were familiar states of being. I was struggling to be present, looking for the next crisis that would provide me with the chemical cocktail my brain was craving. Something needed to give. I ended up leaving my crisis intervention work, going on a 10 day silent retreat, and then began building my own business. Doing so shook up my routine and gave me the grace to begin exploring rest, recreation, and slowness.
Over the last year in particular, Matt and I (mostly Matt), read books on books seeking inspiration from other slow-living role models. We learned there is no one right way to do “slow-living” and leaned into our own curiosity about the activities that we savor.
In being with this question, What if I slowed my daily life down?, over the last year, I have noticed:
It often feels counter-intuitive to slow down. My body often craves the next task. Slowing down takes intention as I am habituated to go-go-go.
I have had to rediscover what slowing down means to me. Doing so has helped me fine tune what I actually enjoy doing in micro-moments. At the beginning, I noticed I was choosing activities that still felt productive, like walking when really what I wanted was to close my eyes and nap.
I often have more time than I think I do. I have noticed a lot of my time goes to “planning” which can be a scapegoat for my worry and anticipation. Again, ironically, slowing down has actually helped me get more sh*t done.
When I do slow down, the answers I have been looking for appear seemingly out of nowhere. Except it isn’t actually nowhere. I have learned there is really amazing science behind the value of slowing down the brain into what is called “diffuse mode” - the state that helps produce insights, aha! moments, and learning.
I am experiencing more ease, creativity, and gratitude. I am a fan.
I have learned a lot from being with this question. And I still get “hooked” by the tantalizing, seductive, illusion of the grind. I anticipate it won’t always be a linear journey towards slowing down. Right now, I am grateful for this new, welcomed, slow, intentionality that brings richness and vibrancy to my day and better supports me in showing up with integrity to the community change work I love.
If slowing down is also of interest to you like it is to me, I would be curious to hear back from you: What ways have you slowed down your life? And what has it made possible for you?
p.s. For those interested in embracing more slowness in their life and up-leveling their rest game, my pal Cyndi and I are hosting a 3-series workshop Rest is Radical. For 20% off you can use code: RESTWITHMEG
Meg - lots of similarities ! I have been learning about slowing down too, but much later in life. You keep going on your path, and I'll do the same, and I know where we are going to end up!!
Katherine